Forward and Not Backward

Politics - Magic Mormon Underwear

2012-01-25T16:27:00.001-06:00

Yes, it's a touchy subject. Not a "secret" subject. Catholics don't like it when their crosses or rosaries are mocked. I bet Orthodox Jews don't like it when we mock their yamakas and other sacred clothing. That's about it.

I'm an adult Mormon, a married woman, and I have been to the Temple to make sacred promises to God to obey His commandments. I wear the "garments." And here is the best article I've read on the subject so far, in terms of a concise and clear explanation to non-Mormons.

The link: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mckaycoppins/a-brief-guide-to-mormon-underwear

Also, did anyone catch Donny Osmond on late night TV talking about garments? Liked his response to the questions too.

Family Portrait - 2012

2012-01-23T10:13:00.002-06:00

Book Review - Biography

2012-01-22T21:01:00.000-06:00

My Lucky Life in and Out of Show Business by Dick Van Dyke
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I love Dick Van Dyke. I was introduced to him through - what else? - Mary Poppins. Burt was always my favorite character. I've also seen reruns of the Dick Van Dyke television show and loved them - they're pretty timeless - and I've seen several other films with him. He is just such a fantastic entertainer - he always makes me smile. So, I picked up the book already his fan.

I ended the book liking him and understanding him even more. Though I can't/don't agree with all his personal views, I still find him a refreshingly moral Hollywood personality and I think this gave a pretty honest account of his life thus far. I liked it and just finished recommending it to a friend. :-)

For people unfamiliar with a large body of his word, I would say you may find yourself a little lost. I actually got a little lost once he entered the late-seventies/early-eighties period. But I still enjoyed my overall reading experience.

View all my reviews

Vitamin C - Lucy Style

2012-01-21T10:41:00.002-06:00

Too cute. A picnic in January.

Things should just WORK! DANGIT!

2012-01-18T10:31:00.004-06:00

Jeep is not working. No idea why. Just doesn't turn on. New battery didn't fix the problem, even though the old battery was dead.

The microwave is NOT heating things correctly, because our microwave plate mysteriously vanished during the move. Getting tired of it.

Toilet mysteriously leaking water - CLEAN water, thank goodness - from bottom. Put in work order to property management.

Desktop mysteriously crashing again. Turns itself off and on and is not usable.

Laptop is DEAD, and in to be fixed, for $400. Let me just pull that there off my money tree in back....

Washing machine agitator is starting to scare me. Doesn't do blankets well. That's what my mother's did before it completely stopped agitating. Which agitates me.

Lucy's chair - an old highchair sans tray, mine when I was her age - completely collapsed out from under her. The only way to keep her from crying was to tell her she was just like Goldilocks.

Things should just WORK.

When Exactly...?

2012-01-04T16:16:00.001-06:00

I have now been given three different due dates.

July 14
June 23
June 10

....

I am not a happy camper. All three have been given by different people. No sonograms yet because I'm STILL looking for a care provider. I'm just too picky. I want a better experience than the first time - the hospital with Lu was a nightmare - and with someone more attentive than the midwife who took care of things with Tarver...or rather DIDN'T take care of things and made her students do all the work and her husband answered the phone every time I called.

Anyway.

I'm hoping for June 10 - that would mean I'm farther alone (and less fat) than I thought I was, and less of the summer to get through. And, hey, I want that baby!

Cursed beast! Have at you!

2011-12-27T12:55:00.003-06:00

Emails exchanged with husband at work:

Me: I hope you have a great morning. I have pirates and dinosaurs to contend with. And laundry.

Him: You are a mighty warrior to fight off those type of things. What is this laundry you speak of?? I have been to many a land and never encountered a beast called this.

Me: Laundry is the fiercest of mythical beasts. It grows and grows until it overwhelms you. And should you defeat it once, it will only keep coming back.

Him: That doth sound fierce.Thou must be a cunning warrior full of endurance and stamina.

And yes. We have random conversations via email and text all the time. :-)

Little Einstein-ism

2011-12-15T14:20:00.001-06:00

Lucy is knocking on the headboard of my bed while I'm trying to catnap.
Me: Lucy! Stop!
More knocking, only a little softer.
Me: LUCY! No more knocking!
Lucy: But Mommy, it's not FORTISSIMO, it's PIANISSIMO. See? More soft knocking. Pianissimo means SOFT, Mommy. Quietly.

Well then. Excuse me while I pull the blankets over my head and laugh!

Best Christmas Present EVER!

2011-12-11T11:26:00.001-06:00

I'm SO excited I got one of my gifts SUPER early this year. :-) I got... my laptop repaired!!!!!!!!

I am over the moon about it! We found out a while back that it would be way out of budget to fix it - around $300 - and it's too nice of a laptop - around $1000 - to just say "Oh, well" and light it up with bullets like we did the last one. Seriously. That's how we got rid of it. It's amazing what a shotgun can do to a laptop...but I digress.

Anyway. We didn't even know what was wrong with the STUPID thing, just that it fell from about three feet high and then when we turned it on it blinked out again right away. Bummer, dude.

I've been without my amazing piece of machinery for FOUR MONTHS. That's way too long to be chained to a desktop, in my opinion. My birthday present, an iPod Touch, alleviated some of the pain but really the separation was just too long.

For my special Christmas surprise, Skye got his brother to do the repair. It took HOURS and HOURS of hard word - THANK YOU CHASE!!!!!!!!!!!! - but now it works!!! It turns out our laptop had two hard drives, and one of them CRASHED AND BURNED. It happened to be the one we were running off of. So, BIL tweaked and twiddled and got the other hard drive to take over and now it WORKS.

I'm beyond ecstatic!!! I feel like a piece of my brain has been given back!

WOOHOO!!!!!!!

Lucy-ism and...

2011-12-05T20:08:00.001-06:00

Ism: "Well, when I was a daddy, I was a big tall man too!"

Ism: "Mommy, I wish your husband would come home. Right now. I miss your husband."

And... the other day we were getting ready to leave the house. Lucy went outside with her coat on to wait in the back yard. A few minutes later I heard her yelling, "Help me!" I opened the back door to see her looking straight up at the sky saying, "Help me, Jesus!!!"

Alarmed, I asked why she needed Jesus's help.

"My coat isn't buttoned."

I laughed and said, "So you were asking Jesus to come button it?"

"Yes."

"Well, he sent me to help instead." Coat buttoned. Child happy. Mommy went inside to laugh.

Every woman should read this

2011-12-05T08:40:00.001-06:00

I get a lot of flack for the natural-birth option that I prefer. I get a lot of rolled eyes. I have had an OB/GYN tell me I was negligent, uninformed, and STUPID for wanting unmedicated labor and delivery.

Please, please, please read THIS and pass it on to other mothers and family. Please?

My own mother experienced a birth where her OB/GYN told her, afterward, that HE would not have been able to save her life. He told her very clearly if he had been attending her, due to procedures and the unforeseen circumstances, she would have died. Who saved her? Midwives.

Ask midwives at birthing centers what the mortality rate of their infants is...go ahead. Then ask your local hospital. Guess what? For NORMAL births, it's lower risk to go with the midwife.

I also recommend reading the book, "Your Best Birth: Know All Your Options...." It is an advocate for women, for birth itself, and gives great perspectives. It is NOT at "you must go natural" book, it actually lists all the positive choices for both hospital and midwives, medicated and unmedicated. A woman should know her options and go in to birth with her head on straight, knowing the experience she wants and getting it.

Stepping off the soap box....

Cookie Face

2011-11-30T16:57:00.001-06:00

Daddy left his cookies out a couple of nights ago. The next morning, I was downstairs with the kiddos. I could tell Dynamite was eating something, so I said his name to get him to turn around. What I saw was this:

Cute as a button, isn't he?

Surprise!!! Or, why I didn't eat much on Thanksgiving...

2011-11-29T08:55:00.001-06:00

I'm expecting.

Bun in the oven.

The stork has a special delivery with my name on it.

However you want to say it, it's true!

Doctor said, with the BC I was on, there was a 1 in 1000 chance of conception. Highlight here for the TMI: (It was an IUD, for curious minds, so we also had to rush right in and get that taken care of or risk losing the pregnancy.)

I'm positively surprised, and very excited! The only thing I would change about the timing, if I could change anything, would be that I would have lost all the baby weight from Dynamite. I still had 15 lbs to go, so now I'm starting that battle a little behind. But, the experience will be well worth it.

My only concern is that I'm at a slightly increased risk of miscarriage until I reach the end of the first trimester - I'm 7 weeks along. I have absolutely no idea how I would handle that. I know three very strong, very admirable mothers who have miscarried and admitted to not being very upset - because they had faith that Heavenly Father knew what He was doing. I also know three very strong, very admirable mothers and women of faith who were - for a time - devastated by a miscarriage. I know women who talk about it candidly and others who treat it like a sorrowful secret. I feel compassion for both, I pray for all.

Motherhood is a sacred trust, a divine calling, and I strongly believe that angels often walk with mothers to lift their spirits, comfort their hearts, and guide their hands.

All that being said, I'm excited - so is my husband - and I can't wait to see how this pregnancy impacts our lives.

Oath of a Parent

2011-11-21T08:09:00.001-06:00

I read this today on a friend of a friend's blog. It's an oath that parents adopting a child are required to make, in court and before a judge. I think it's an oath that all parents should be required to take.

We, (Father and Mother),

Solemnly swear to treat (child's name)

In all respects as our natural child.

We are prepared to accept

This gift of a child to raise.

We will share our lives with her,

Help to mold her mind,

Nurture her body,

And enrich her spirit.

We will never betray her trust,

Dampen her hopes, or

Discourage her dreams.

We make this commitment willingly.

We will cherish (our child)

All the days of our lives.

Beautiful, isn't it? Even that part, "our natural child," should be required by parents giving birth to and raising their children. We positively must remember where these precious children came from, that we have all been entrusted with children that are not 100 percent ours - they belong first and foremost to our Father in Heaven.

I have been given the gift of two wonderful, loving, sweet children to raise. Even I have moments where I am not the parent I could be - and want to be. I think I'm going to put this up in our home somewhere, with one or two tweaks. What a wonderful reminder it would be!

Our children are gifts, temporarily entrusted to us by God. They are a sacred trust. I am very, very grateful for mine.

Let the -Isms Begin!

2011-11-16T08:14:00.001-06:00

Net over at MamaDrama puts these up about her family all the time - they are hilarious! - and I'm stealing her idea. Lucy's had a lot of -ism moments, but this is the first that I've remembered long enough to blog!

Lucy: A pillow!

Daddy: You mean Apollo.

Lucy: Apollo? (confused)

Mommy: He used to be the god of the sun.

Lucy: God of the sun?! But I thought I was the god of the sun!!!

In LOVE with WORD ART

2011-11-07T08:37:00.000-06:00

Maybe I'm behind the times, but I just discovered WORDLE. It is SO fun, I've been playing with it all morning. I've done several pieces for each child, our whole family, and I just did one for the Articles of Faith. Here's what it looks like:

I think it's awesome and I'm already imagining the possibilities... Think of all the personalized gifts and EASY crafts you could do with this!!!!

I've also been experimenting with our family name - doing the one-letter-at-a-time thing. Here's an example from someone else:

I like it. Mine isn't AS cool. I just had to find cool lettering because to use other people's photos of random things is EXPENSIVE, and I'm not amazing enough to go out and do all my own photography.

What would you do with this...?

2011-11-04T19:56:00.002-05:00

This is how this looks now, in someone else's house. What would you do with it?

I have next to no space in my kitchen for ANYTHING. Dishes, food, storage.... I'm hoping this china cabinet will help me fix that but I'm not sure how to use it to my best advantage.

I don't have many showy pieces - right now I'm just trying to make do with a little house while we save for the big house.

Any suggestions? Paint it? Cover the windows? What can I put in it?

Moving is NOT Good for the Soul

2011-11-04T18:45:00.001-05:00

You name it and it went wrong. I'm just glad I did a walk-through the day before we were supposed to move in. Our property management didn't want to give me the key for that much, but I insisted and they finally gave in. I walked through to find that NOTHING had been done since we saw it - dirty toilets, broken fridge, filthy floors, carpet in need of cleaning, light-bulbs out, and more was horribly wrong. I couldn't even deal with it, so I had Skye call and tell them the situation was unacceptable. They promised someone would be over to take care of it that night but they needed the key they had given me back.

..... WHAT? Of course, this was told to me when I was halfway back to Arlington after a half hour drive. Did I mention I had a sister, her baby, and my two babies with me during this whole thing? No? Well, they were there. Crying. The babies, not the sister.

I took the key back.

We arrived Saturday around 1:00 PM to find...our upstairs toilet leaking through the downstairs ceiling and collecting in a large puddle on the tile floor. The cleaning men were STILL cleaning, but using a neighbor's GARDEN HOSE because they turned off the water to the house upon discovering the huge leak. So, no water until cause of leak found. And we had twelve people show up to help us move who now had no access to drinking water or toilets, most of them living half an hour to an hour away.

We called the emergency 24 hour maintenance number - but it was disconnected. WHAT?!

We called the main number, it went to voicemail.

Luckily, I had the personal cell number of one of the representatives.

Unluckily, she did NOTHING to help except tell us she called someone else who could possibly come after 5:00 PM.

Insert filthy words here, especially when the other person never called or showed.

A great blessing was that one of my uncles, who is a complete and utter GENIUS when it comes to all things related to houses, found the problem and turned our water on. Management later (three days later) replaced our toilet that caused the problem and fixed a lot of other things.

Still dealing with a bad fridge, though. *grumble*

Top all that off with the normal stresses of packing and unpacking and finding space for things and I'm ready for a vacation.

Pictures of the Little Darlings

2011-10-27T09:14:00.000-05:00

Photos Taken Using iTouch

Toothy Grin

What? I wasn't nibbling on my toes! Promise!

Artwork entitled: Water Colors on Paper Plate

BLUR! We're just too quick for you!

Happy Jailbird.

Jumping in Puddles, or: New Rain Boots

Unable to Rotate

Watching Sister in the Rain

Trying on the Halloween Costume... ARGH!

Privacy Matters

2011-10-27T08:44:00.002-05:00

My husband and I have decided to delete our Facebook accounts, but I will retain my blog. There will be changes in some of my posts - I will use nicknames instead of full names, to confound search engines. I will edit older posts as I have time to reflect this change in my policy.

We just want to make sure our children stay safe and if - in thirty or forty years - either of them run for office, embarrassing baby pictures and stories won't show up connected to them. :-) (This is totally not one of the reasons...at least, not a big reason.)

We also have been thinking a lot about some of the things said during General Conference about the amount of time social networking can take up. More food for thought there.

AND... We honestly don't use Facebook much anymore. My husband is literally never on and when I am... No one ever has anything to say except "ha, ha!" or "LOL" or other shallow comments. If you're really my friend, call me or email me! I think Facebook gives the illusion that we have a lot of friends or people out there who care about us when in reality we're becoming a nation of voyeurs. There. I said it.

I also have a highly insensitive and formerly abusive step-father who - to my knowledge - doesn't know about my blog or anything about my kids. I'd like to keep it that way.

Anyway, if you too would like to rid yourself of online social baggage, here's the link that will help you do it: http://www.facebook.com/help/search/?q=how+do+i+delete+my+account

Moving!!!

2011-10-23T14:07:00.000-05:00

In a week. In one blessed week, we will be in our own home!

I'm so excited!

That's all.

Be it ever so humble....

2011-10-17T17:37:00.002-05:00

Another application for another rental is in. Wish us luck. We like this one. It's smaller than the other one but MUCH less. So we can save for and purchase a home quicker, and since that's the overall goal....

By the way, anyone been to old downtown McKinney lately? I'm dying to go through all the shops. And no, we aren't moving there, but we drove through it and it looks fun.

Also, participating in a "fun run/walk" this weekend to support a hospital for children. Should be AWESOME. I'm excited.

AND... I want a nice family photo. I'm talking NICE. But not at an exorbitant price. Ideas...?

Nevermind

2011-10-10T10:23:00.001-05:00

The day after we shelled out money for an application, they leased it to someone else.

I guess when the realtor said there was a lot of play on that place, he meant it.

Stupid house.

We even went and visited the ward yesterday and liked it a lot. DUMB.

House Hunting ... Again

2011-10-06T13:15:00.001-05:00

Last time I posted about house hunting was a LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG time ago. (Yes, I am aware of the grammatical misconstruction of that sentence.) And at that point and time, we were attempting to purchase a home. Now, however, we're just looking to find something to rent.

Well, we think we've found it. It's quaint. Smallish but largish enough for our family of four+dog. We hope to rent for a year or two and THEN try to purchase a home. I'm really excited.

No, really.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA how excited I am.

It has been a tremendous blessing that we have had a safe home filled with people who love us. We have been blessed in our marriage, in our parenting, in our finances, and in our perceptions. I have absolutely no complaints about where I have lived - with my mother - for the past two years. We simply could not have made it on our own, due to a job loss, education, etc.

Yet I am excited, because I feel our family is closing one chapter and starting the next in our adventure.

Anyway. This place we've found... I've only seen the outside. Skye saw the inside and took pictures for me and drew a floorplan. We're filling out an application today. Is that faith in one's husband, or what?

Just a rental. Two years max. I can totally do this.

Wish us luck.

Will people ever say that about me?

2011-10-06T13:01:00.000-05:00

I stumbled on to the most beautiful blog the other day - a blog that was full of a remarkable woman's experiences, testimony, and life. It looked clean yet creative. She expressed herself very well. Most of all, it felt like she let everyone take a quick peek at her soul.

I loved it. My favorite part about it is/was how clearly and beautifully she shared her testimony of the Savior and His Atonement.

I emailed my husband at work and gushed about it, telling him how lovely it was, and I wondered if people would ever feel about me the way I felt about this woman, if they would ever know the kind of testimony I have.... His response?

"Only if you express yourself will they know how you feel."

.... Thanks. That was...deep. :-)

I like blogging. I haven't been doing it because my mother has me a little paranoid about "big brother" watching. I'm even half-convinced to delete my facebook account!!!

Texas Climatologists Say Our Drought is WORST in History

2011-08-17T11:40:00.000-05:00

Here's the facts, according to the Texas government:

94 percent of pasture and rangeland is rated as poor or very poor and nearly all of the hay supply is being brought in from other states.
With a limited water supply, ranchers are having to reduce the size of their herds. Some ranchers have had to resort to a complete liquidation. Ranchers have relocated cattle as far away as Wyoming!
Only 8 percent of the corn crop is in good condition.
Most of the cotton planted in the state has been abandoned. The total losses of the cotton crop are estimated to be $2 billion.
Statewide agricultural losses in 2011 could be double the record of $4.1 billion in 2006.
- Aquifers provide approximately 60 percent of the water supply for Texas. These are replenished by rainwater slowly seeping through the soil. Water supplies in the aquifers have been falling rapidly during the drought.
- Parts of the Trinity Aquifer, located west of Ft. Worth, have fallen as much as 80 feet! This is the greatest loss since records were first kept in the 1950s drought.
- According to the Lower Colorado River Authority (LCRA), Lake Travis, located west of Austin, is just over 29 feet below its average August level!
- Much of the state is experiencing different levels of mandatory and voluntary water restrictions.
  
  So...still praying for rain in Texas.

Crazy Ugly Heat

2011-08-09T09:47:00.000-05:00

I'm SICK and TIRED of this heat! I've had a heat-related migraine for days now, it doesn't get lower than 84 degrees at night, Lucy is going stir-crazy because I won't let her outside after 10 AM, and the Weather Channel says we're stuck in this rut for the foreseeable future. PLUS, we haven't had any rain since May 24th. TWO AND A HALF MONTHS.

We got something in the mail from the city just the other day, saying that by the first week of September we will be regulating things such as watering our lawns.

There's a big oak tree in our neighbor's yard - BEAUTIFUL tree - that is dying a slow and painful death from the heat.

Today's high will likely be 108 degrees.

Kid History - Funniest Viral Ever.

2011-08-01T11:31:00.000-05:00

I love these things: http://boredshorts.tv/category/kidhistory/

Episode One is the absolute BEST.

Another Fun Mormon Article, Published in MA

2011-07-31T19:22:00.000-05:00

I love these things. Here's the full link: http://www.thesunchronicle.com/articles/2011/07/31/news/9922745.txt

I think the Bishop they interviewed in this article is exactly right - the LDS faith is receiving a HUGE opportunity here to demystify our beliefs and religion.

The "Mormon Moment"

2011-07-27T18:51:00.000-05:00

Oh. My. Gosh. :-) I am loving all these news articles on Mormons right now. There are so many arguments out there, and scholars weighing in, with a little bit of bigotry and a whole lot of name-calling. I'm not a contentious person - I don't like picking fights - but I LOVE reading this stuff and then the comments other readers make. I confess to dropping a few notes of my own.

This is one of the little articles I've been reading: http://www.christianpost.com/news/why-are-mormons-rising-in-business-politics-52780/ And dropped a brief, non-political comment on it, too.

I guess we can blame it on Broadway, and those two guys aiming to be the Republican candidate for President.

I hope all this PR is generating some honest questions and putting to rest a few myths from people NOT of the faith. I'm sure it's stirring up just as many anti-Mormon ads and propaganda too.

For the record, if you say "Mormon" and you mean members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (not any crazy splinter groups), then you are referencing a Christian person/group.

HERE is a definition of Christian. Guess what? I'm Mormon and I meet all the criteria for this one!

And yes, this beautiful Christus statue is located in Salt Lake City, at the Mormon Temple Square.

Peace out!

Lucy and Lucy

2011-07-22T11:50:00.002-05:00

Mother Goose had a pavilion at the Renaissance fair and she brought her goose, named Lucy.

And since I had a goose named Lucy too, we got their picture together.

Elephant Rider

2011-07-22T11:48:00.000-05:00

We went to a Renaissance fair back in May. This is one of my favorite photos.

I wish I had a better camera!

Good News Minute: New Job

2011-07-22T10:53:00.000-05:00

Skye got the job he interviewed for back in June! June 2nd, actually. We found out last week but I've been letting the good news soak in before really proclaiming it. :-) I'm so excited!

He'll be working for a children's hospital in the DFW area.

We'll finally be able to afford a home of our own!

My Kid IS Smarter Than Yours and I Can PROVE IT!

2011-07-05T15:55:00.001-05:00

I feel like this all the time. I'm sure most parents do. But I especially feel like this when I see a child who is one year older than mine who is not able to carry on a conversation the way Lucy does. Oh, that child's parents think their little darling is VERY conversational because the three year old can repeat after them and say two word phrases like "eat time" and "love you."

But when I walk in the room where Lucy has been playing, she gives me paragraphs. "Mommy? I'm playing wit' bear and he is NOT NICE. He not say please and thank you." Then she abruptly shifts gears. "My hair is messy. We need to do my hair. I need comb and a-a-a-a-a spray bottle. We sit at mirror, right Mommy? And-and-and I need PONYtail." That reminds her.... "'Member when we went bye-bye to see the-the-the COWS? And horses! And I got to ride on the little horse. Just a little horse."

And she talks and talks and talks. She's also become inventive. The other day, her body made what is considered to be a rude noise. Her daddy said, "Lucy! What was that?" He was hoping she would say "Excuse me." Instead she said, "It was a duck. In my pants."

She just walked in my room saying: "Mommy, here are the colors. I've found all my crayons. Where is my notebook? I'm trying to draw wit' my crayons and I don't know where it is. It be somewhere..... Do you see it? I need the-the-the little - the small - notebook. Where is my notebook?" Verbatim. Typed while she was speaking.

Anyway. I've got to brag somewhere.

Ray Ramano Knows

2011-06-10T10:20:00.001-05:00

"Everyone should have kids. They're the greatest joy in the world. But they're also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you." – Ray Romano

Annoying and Awful

2011-04-19T14:59:00.000-05:00

I've always wondered what it would feel like to lock a kid in a car or house or room and not be able to get to them. Today, for ten awful minutes, I got to experience that.

I was really mad. REALLY mad. Lucy and I have one common trait that gets us both in trouble - we're very stubborn. I knew she was tired and I put her down for a nap, but she refused to sleep. She jumped in her crib, sang songs, threw tantrums, etc. At first I threatened her and took away her baby doll she sleeps with. That didn't work. Then I tried just telling her how upset I was, varying my tone from stern to woman-gone-crazy. No dice. Then came promises of reward. Finally, I just ignored her and tried to sleep myself.

Lucy's bed is in the same room with us because we're living with family right now. Sharing a room with a two year old is NOT ADVISED.

After two and a half hours, I got angry and LEFT THE ROOM. I calmly shut the door behind me and went to check the mail. Lucy, of course, started screaming. Well, I decided I had better get Tarver out too since he was in there napping. I went to open the door and....

It was locked.

And it's not one of those bedroom doors that you can just stick a straight nail in a hole and "pop" it open. After I looked all over the house (husband's tools are in the bedroom too, in the closet) I came up with a screwdriver attached to a pen lid. Random.

Using the screwdriver, and trying to get Lucy to climb out of her crib and open the door from the inside, I pried the doorknob off.

I gave Lucy a HUGE hug, pulled her out of bed, and felt really bad about my treatment of her.

For about ten minutes...

Amazing...

2011-04-12T16:23:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how fast life changes when you add another child to the mix! We keep reminding each other we're a family of four now, that we have two little ones, that we now have "children" instead of just "a child." It's absolutely FANTASTIC.

Our little boy was given a name and a blessing this past Sunday. The coolest thing said during the blessing was: "Heavenly Father is proud of you for choosing to come and experience mortality so that you might one day be like Him." :-)

Reading for Sanity is giving away Jane Eyre goodies!

2011-03-23T14:43:00.000-05:00

And I wants them, preciousssssss. ;-) So I'm blogging about it.

Reading for Sanity is a wonderful website for insightful book reviews for classics, new releases, and books across many genres. Check it out.

Oh, and here's the giveaway link!

3/3/11 Photos

2011-03-17T09:26:00.000-05:00

The Full Story - Novel Version

2011-03-17T09:22:00.002-05:00

I had false labor on February 26th from 3 AM to 12 PM, and I thought for sure it was the real thing, but then everything randomly stopped right at noon. I was horribly disappointed, especially since I had tried taking castor oil the day before. Castor oil is the most disgusting stuff for any human being to ingest willingly. And it obviously didn't work. So I went through the rest of the week perfectly miserable, waiting for my Thursday appointment to beg for some kind of induction. Y'all, I was HUGEMONGOUS. Bigger than I got with Lucy in terms of how much my tummy protruded. Wednesday night, March 2nd, at 11:45 I had a really, really strong contraction and even told Skye about it. He announced the time, I told him not to get his hopes up, and we both went to sleep.

At 2:45 AM I woke up with a start and laid in bed trying to figure out what woke me. About five minutes later, I had another contraction. I didn't want to wake anyone, so I just tried to doze in case it wasn't the real thing. At 3:15 I couldn't even pretend to sleep anymore but I still didn't want to wake anyone. There was no hurry, I figured, since my labor with Lucy lasted 24 hours from start to finish. I got up by myself, grabbed my watch, and went out to the family room to lay on the couch and time my contractions. I had two sets - a very strong, minute long contraction every five minutes and then a lighter, 30 second contraction in between those. I'd never heard of that happening, so I figured that it must be false labor. It was 4 AM, I went back to bed.

At 4:30 AM I woke up Skye telling him I was having some serious labor pains. He helped me time them - 45 seconds, four minutes apart. Midwife said to call her when they were a minute long, five minutes apart, for a full hour. I wasn't sure if this qualified yet. We went through it together until 5:15 AM, when I told Skye he should probably get dressed and I would go talk to my mother about staying home with Lucy in case we had to go in for me to be checked. She, like me, figured I would be in labor for a looooong time. She didn't think I needed to call the midwife, neither did I. Then, at 5:55, everything inside me changed and I was hit with a sudden sense of urgency.

I made Skye call the midwife, who we woke up of course. When he told her what my body was up to, she said I'd better come in and be checked but that she wouldn't be there. She called a replacement and the two students I've been working with - the midwife's husband was in the hospital with hip-replacement surgery and her own babysitter had fallen through.

Skye and my mother continued to take their time getting ready and I tried to be patient. I was doing REALLY well with contractions, especially compared to last time. Last time, I was a complete nervous wreck. This time I calmly breathed through the contractions and walked around to keep them "productive." Anyway, I finally lost my patience and said, "We have to go RIGHT NOW." We were in the car at 6:10 AM. The birthing center is thirty minutes from our home. But the highway was JAMMED. Skye saw this and, calmly and coolly, took an alternate route with me finally losing my cool during contractions.

We arrived at 6:40 AM, despite the detour, and I was starting to hit panic mode. I told Skye when we pulled up outside the house-converted-to-woman's-care-center to honk the horn. He laughed at me - LAUGHED - and asked what I thought that would do for us. He helped me out of the car and in we went. The replacement midwife (who is from another center down the road and, coincidentally, will be delivering both Autumn and Laura's babies) assisted me into the office and to the exam table, which I climbed on to (through another contraction). She was all ready to "check on things" when I -VERY CALMLY - told her, "I'm feeling the urge to push right now." She nixed the exam, took me in to the lovely Rose Room (rooms are set up more bed and breakfast style than anything, with an in-room, huge bathtub and such) and no sooner had we stepped into the room than my water broke.

I was in bed seconds later, with Skye stuck holding my hand. He was hoping to be in on the action a bit more but once I started going I was not letting him take a step away from me. I think that disappointed him a little in the end.... But, I needed him. It was an awesome experience.At 6:55 AM, Tarver was officially born. So...about four hours of labor (that I'm aware of) and we had a healthy little boy in our arms. :-) That's the story.

We were home by 11:00 AM and put him right in Lucy's arms.

The end. :-)

He's Here!

2011-03-03T13:14:00.001-06:00

Tarver Nelson Treanor arrived at six fifty-five in the morning, central time, after three and a half hours of labor. Woo hoo!

He's nine pounds and twelve ounces. He's twenty-one and three-quarter inches long. He's VERY healthy, handsome, and his eyes have been open almost the whole time.

Mommy is very tired, though, so I'll save the rest of the details for later.

Love, Sally

Please, Please, Please INDUCE ME!

2011-03-02T08:51:00.000-06:00

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

My midwife appointment is tomorrow. She's a Certified Nurse Midwife, which means she works under an OBGYN, which means she has access to drugs and is more forward thinking than a "lay midwife."

I'm hoping I can talk her in to inducing me. Praying, actually. I can't do this anymore. I'm exhausted, hormonal, emotional, and might be going crazy.

My feet, ankles, and hands are staying swollen. My knee joints are killing me - and I've never had knee pain in my life. I can't sleep at night. Last night I got about five hours of interrupted sleep - interrupted by weird dreams and bathroom dashes and heartburn. Heartburn medicine actually no longer works, it makes me sick to my stomach b/c I've had so much of it. NONE of my clothes fit any longer, even the biggest and baddest of the maternity pants. This is my list MINUS all the very personal stuff no one wants to read about.

My dreams have gone from simply being "lively" to being "bizarre." Last night I dreamed I was in Victorian England at a finishing school where they intended to make me become a permanent resident because my guardian died. But I didn't want to be there anymore, so I went up to the attic where I read the last letter sent to me by my guardians. As I read, this random guy appeared in a butler's uniform and said he knew I wanted to leave. Then it started raining inside the attic. And filling with water. He opened a door in the wall and on the other side I saw something like Wonderland on the other side, only it was raining. This guy tells me, as I start to pass through the door, "Just call me 'yours' if you need anything." Later in the dream I needed help escaping from something vaguely badger-like and then I realized I really had to shout "Yours!" to get this random magic butler to appear. Yeah. Lewis Carrol's drug addiction has nothing on pregnancy dreams.

Castor Oil is a CROCK.

2011-02-27T20:13:00.000-06:00

At least, I believe that's the term I'm looking for. I tried it on Friday and it didn't even do what it advertised it did - clean out the bowels. Lovely, huh? But it didn't have any effect on me. NONE. And it was MISERABLE to get down four ounces of the stuff. Imagine trying to swallow a snake.... A very oily snake. That's what it was like.

Saturday, from 1:30 AM to 12:00 PM I had contractions - irregular, but the right kind otherwise - and then they JUST STOPPED. Completely. And haven't come back.

You can imagine the state of mind I'm in today....

My Mother Calls it Transition

2011-02-25T08:13:00.000-06:00

I call it just plain grouchiness. Apparently, your hormones do a huge shift before you go in to labor - hours or days or weeks before hand - and you have a mood shift. My mood shift hit a couple of days ago and is only getting worse. I'm basically ticked off at the world in general and certain people in particular.

Last night was miserable. I couldn't fall asleep until VERY late, then I slept uncomfortable and kept waking up. Then Lucy started crying and my husband put her in bed with us - that actually made me really mad, whereas most of the time I don't mind. She's a little sweetheart, really, but last night I was already dealing with discomfort and a mood swing. I kept waking up with heartburn, needing to use the bathroom, needing to turn over before my hips cracked.... Then Lucy climbed out of bed around 6:30 AM. She just left. Hung out with my family. I'm grateful they kept an eye on her, but again...a little ticked.

So here I am, sleepy, sore, ticked off.

I just want my baby.

Appointment Today

2011-02-24T17:00:00.000-06:00

Good news...or at least, POSITIVE news: 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced.

That's more of both than I was the day before I went in to labor with Lucy.

I think I'm going to spend some time on my exercise ball..... Bouncy! Bouncy! Bouncy!!!

Ready or Not....

2011-02-22T19:43:00.000-06:00

There's only one thing left on my list of things to get before Tarver arrives - a new battery charger for our camera. It hasn't been charged since Thanksgiving when we left the charger in South Carolina. It says there's still a full battery, but my camera is notorious for being "full" one moment and blinking red-danger the next. I plan on getting one tomorrow.

I went to Walgreens and CVS pharmacy today to load up on supplies - the more embarrassing stuff that they don't tell you that you'll need until you're about eight months pregnant with your first baby. Seriously - if you don't have someone who has told you all the gross details of labor, drop me a line so I can warn you. There was a list of things I wasn't told and that are not listed in those baby books with smiling pregnant ladies on the cover.

We also have done everything except scrub out the bathtub and the bathroom floor. We. Are. Ready!

Which means, of course, I probably will go past my due date....

This is the point in the pregnancy that most people - myself included - start looking at the "jump start your contractions" stuff on the internet.

Things Which Will (Supposedly) Start Labor:

Making Love: Every website out there will tell you to have sex, sex, and more sex. This usually makes the father-to-be happy and less stressed, if nothing else.
Brisk Walk/Jog/Light Run, dependent on your fitness level. Right. That would feel great right now.
Castor Oil: It gets everything else "down there" moving, so why not? My sister actually did this and it worked for her. I have a bottle and if I make it to the due date I intend to try it out.
Stairs. Lots, and lots, and lots of stairs.
Swimming - with lots of leg kicking.
A Bumpy Car Ride - gets everything jiggling.
Meditation. Highly doubtful.
Various herbal tea concoctions.... Nah.
Tell your baby it's OK to come out now. Because they're so understanding.
SPICY food. Indian, Mexican, Italian. Just something that burns. No thanks, my heartburn does that already.
Stripping the membranes. This is what my doctor did to me to induce Lucy's birth naturally. It worked. within twelve hours I was in labor. But probably not a good thing to try to do without medical supervision....
Nipple Stimulation. ... Yeah.
Bounce on a Pilates Ball. That one's fun, but if you've been using the ball throughout pregnancy I don't see why NOW all of a sudden it will make a difference.
Laugh. A LOT. Very hard. Okay. How?

And Snopes Confirms....

2011-02-21T09:05:00.000-06:00

First, here's the Snopes.com confirmation link: http://www.snopes.com/photos/accident/culvert.asp

Now, here's the story that I thought was too good to be true, too miraculous to be true, and waaay too easily photoshopped....

Read the caption, then look at photo number two....

Look at the picture above and you can see where this driver broke through the guardrail, on the right side of the culvert, where the people are standing on the road, pointing.

The pick-up was traveling about 75 mph from right to left
when it crashed through the guardrail.

It flipped end-over-end bounced off and across the culvert outlet, and landed right side up on the left side of the culvert, facing the opposite direction from which the driver was traveling.

The 22-year-old driver and his 18-year-old passenger were unhurt except for minor cuts and bruises.

Just outside Hurricane, Utah.

Now look at the second picture below...

If God isn’t done with you, God isn’t done with you.

Mommy-Daughter Moments with Lucy

2011-02-18T16:48:00.000-06:00

The past several weeks Lucy has been my little helper and (many days) my lone companion. She's also grown by leaps and bounds. We've had some interesting experiences and conversations....

Me: Hey Lucy, where's your belly button?
Lucy lifts shirt and points: Here! Here!
Lucy lunges across floor and pulls my shirt up. Looks perplexed. Says: Mommy... Belly button gone! Where it go? Gone! Gone! (very distressed)

At my latest prenatal appointment, while listening to the baby's heartbeat, Lucy jumped out of her chair and ran to my side, glaring at my tummy.
Lucy: What-doing-Tarver?! Ugh. Sshhhh.

Painting nails:
Lucy: Pretty toes now. Mommy's toes pretty?
Me: Mommy can't reach her toes, babe.
Lucy: Oh. (Sticks bottom lip out.) Sad, Mommy. No pretty toes. Sad.

Protesting nap:
Lucy: No nap! Phone hug! Phone hug!
Me: What's a phone hug?
Skye: A phone call.
Me: She makes phone calls before bed?
Skye, with his phone out: Guess so. Let's call Grand (his mom).
Grand: Hello?
Skye: Hey, Grand, it's Lucy. She wants a phone hug.
Grand: Oh! Well, I love you Lucy and I'm sending you a great big hug right now!
Lucy, very pleased: Thank you! Grand! Thank you! Okay. Night-night time.
And she went right to sleep.... Weird.

Thirty seconds ago:
Lucy, indignant: Mommy, close-off pooter! Off! Close!
Me: Mommy's working.
Lucy: Lucy working. Off.

Lots of Blue

2011-02-17T23:01:00.000-06:00

Everything is laundered for baby Tarver; his clothes, bibs, blankets, booties, hats, spit-up rags, receiving blankets, wash-cloths, and bedding are all clean. When I completed this phase for Lucy, I noticed an alarming amount of pink in the dresser drawers set aside for her and the little dresses hanging in the closet. For Tarver, I'm seeing a lot of blue. We didn't even do it on purpose - I thought I wanted browns and greens and yellows - but somehow, the cutest clothes always have some blue in them.

I'm RIDICULOUSLY excited to have a little boy. I have no idea what it's going to be like, how different it will be from having Lucy. All I know is that I'm going to love my little man with all my heart.

Visited the midwife today. I saw three of her four students instead of the lady herself. They're all around my age and in various stages of nursing school. They said they bet the baby didn't weigh more than seven pounds (HA), that I was measuring at 38 cm, my blood pressure is normal, his heart rate is normal, and they reminded me what to do in case of an emergency. But they're still betting on a March delivery date.

FAT CHANCE. This little guy is coming in February. I just feel it in my bones... Like I feel a lot of things in my bones.... Mostly pain....

In the meantime...MORE NESTING!

The Three Year Alarm

2011-02-05T16:08:00.000-06:00

When Skye and I were dating, we had the rule that he had to be walking out my front door at 11 PM on evenings when he visited. This gave him one hour to get home, so he would be walking in his front door and up to bed by midnight. To make sure we kept this self-imposed curfew, Skye set his digital watch to go off every night at 10:55 PM. This would give us time to wrap up whatever we were doing, gather his things, and say goodnight.

Because he kept this alarm for several months, he actually forgot how to reset the alarm or clear it. It didn't really bother him - we got married and used our cell phone alarms for important things, and the watch alarm was never loud enough to be bothersome. He even ended up with a new watch and the old one was put in his sock drawer.

The alarm was never turned off, cleared, or reset. So, here we come to our three year anniversary, and I was up late enough last night to heart it go off at 10:55 PM.

It made me smile to remember dating, the rules we set for ourselves, and how wonderful it was to finally get married. :-) I love that watch.

A Mother's Log of the Texas Emergency

2011-02-02T07:53:00.000-06:00

From MY mother....

Tuesday AM:
Weather is awful. How about where you live?
I am home freezing in the refrigerator I used to call the family room. Mother told me to buy wood but I didn't and now I am sorry I didn't. (the parable of the ten virgins come to mind) The back door has a couple of inches against it so you can't even open the back door. The wind is blowing so hard that from my room it sounds like the waves are crashing on the shore. I am glad we are all home today and I am already worrying about tomorrow. The storm came a couple of days before payday so we are low on food. We watched a show on cannibalism but I doubt it will come to that. It was funny last night around 3:30 or 4 we had lightning, thunder, wind and then the ice pellet attack.
I hope everyone is home today and no one has to go out.

Tuesday PM:

We staved off the cold and hunger for another day. Mother had potatoes and I had some cheese so she came down and we made delicious potato soup. Elaine - do you remember the potato soup we used to have at Tommie's after she and Mother went visiting teaching? wonderful !! Justin and Autumn follow-up as the calvary loaded with Wal-mart pizza and ice cream. Skye and Sally came back from Killeen and stopped and bought milk, bread and some wood. The house is staying to cold but it is what it is. I took tomorrow (Wed) off from work - the thought of driving makes me to nervous with ice - how many of you working people are driving around in the ice? School is out too - so we will just enjoy tv.

She also kept answering the phone no matter what the caller ID said.... This is what happened when she picked up the phone for the local ISD.

Arabic anyone?
MISD - always on the cutting edge of insanity called me several times today via automated voice messaging. If you pick up the phone but don't SAY anything, the recording doesn't know you are there and everything stays silent. It is awkward if you are lonely and need conversation. If you say hello then the recorded message begins to talk to you like they just called you yesterday (they did) and that you are BFFs. When your BFF calls like that, the polite thing to do is listen which I did. It seems like MISD has received a large grant from someone/something to teach arabic in the ISD - especially starting at Cross Timbers. I wonder if the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt has anything to do with this. I don't know that I want my children speaking arabic as it would make dinner time more challenging than it is already. Why is being American and Anglo-Saxon Protestant now mean I can't be American Anglo-Saxon Protestant? On cultural night I can't just be American - I have to be American Something Else. I can't just speak my native language of English but need to speak other languages because other people come to American but can't speak my language - so I need to change, adapt, tolerate. I guess I don't mind so much as I am fearful I will wake up one day and find out I am not in America at all and my native language is now Arabic. I think Jesus spoke Aramaic and Hebrew didn't He? I guess I need to learn those languages. Maybe I will go to the "big meeting" and see if my BFF MISD can get a grant to teach Aramaic, Hebrew or Greek and we can use the Bible for the text.

Thinking about Potty Training

2011-01-25T19:34:00.000-06:00

THINKING. Not actively engaged in it, really. We bought the Safety 1st, 3-in-one potty chair on Monday. It came out of the box, we enthusiastically told Lucy all about it, and set it up in the bathroom for her.

With Tarver coming in about a month, I have no plans to tackle this potty thing head-on. I want Lucy used to the idea. For now, she just gets to "go potty" when I'm using the restroom and if she specifically asks. She seems to like the idea and even had a successful potty moment today that got us both pretty excited.

I just don't want to be on my hands and knees cleaning up accidents this month or next. I really hope I'm not sabotaging myself in some way....

I Love Vermeer

2011-01-20T17:41:00.000-06:00

I have a calendar that I love - it's my second year to get this particular collection of artwork in calendar form. It's called "The Reading Woman." The calendar features twelve different works of art from artists all over the world, spanning many years, which depict women....reading. :-) Sometimes they're reading books, sometimes magazines, sometimes letters.

This lovely woman, "Woman in Blue Reading a Letter," is the month of January. At first, I wasn't very fond of her. The first look I had of her I snorted and said, "Yeah. She's HUGE pregnant." But as the month has gone by and I see her on my wall every day, I have come to really appreciate her beauty.

Incidentally, experts on the Dutch during this time period say that she likely isn't pregnant. Apparently it was a popular style for women to have very large silhouettes during this time period. Well, I would have fit right in. :-) I like to think maybe she is pregnant, reading a letter from her husband who is away and telling her to take care of herself. Maybe it's from her mother, giving her advice on what to do with the new arrival.

Vermeer painted most of his female subjects during the first year of their marriages, and his own wife was VERY frequently pregnant, so it could easily be a woman who is expecting a little one.

Whatever the case may be, she certainly is lovely. The light is very gentle, she looks like a quiet sort of person caught in a private moment. It's funny, but looking at her over this past week especially has given me a sense of calm and of peace. The scene is so domestic, natural, and timeless. I love this piece very much now.

What We (Should) Expect from Women - Quote

2011-01-19T18:06:00.000-06:00

"...It's a strange thing, but somehow we expect more of girls than of boys. It is the sisters and wives and mothers, you know, Caddie, who keep the world sweet and beautiful. What a rough world it would be if there were only men and boys in it, doing things in their rough way! A woman's task is to teach them gentleness and courtesy and love and kindness. It's a big task, too, Caddie--harder than cutting trees or building mills or damming rivers. It takes nerve and courage and patience, but good women have those things. They have them just as much as the men who build bridges and carve roads through the wilderness. A woman's work is something fine and noble to grow up to, and it is just as important as a man's...."

Taken from Caddie Woodlawn by Carol Ryrie Brink, pages 239-240, published by The Macmillan Company in 1937

And it still is. I'm grateful for the right to vote, for the right to make as much money as a man, for the right to own property, to free speech, and several other things. But I dislike most points of modern-day feminism. It's too harsh. It's turned women in to harpies and makes it seem like those women who excel at mothering and domestic life are stupid instead of loving, kind, and valuable members of society. I want to be treated like I have a brain, but I also want to be treated like I am doing something fine and noble by staying home with my children, kissing my husband goodbye every day, having a meal on the table when he gets home, being there for the first step, first word, and all the other "firsts" of childhood.

The Elder's Quorum - And How I Feel About Them

2011-01-17T11:25:00.000-06:00

No one from my current ward reads my blog. With that statement made, I'm ready to step up on my soapbox.

Have you every known an Elder's Quorum where the men actually did service projects? Worked together to fulfill Priesthood duties? And I'm not talking about helping the occasional senior brother/sister to move. I'm talking about real service and visiting less actives and struggling families. I'm talking about them meeting once a month, outside of the usual block of meetings, to accomplish something of worth.

My answer to this question is: No. Since before marriage, since marriage to an Elder, I have never ever seen this done. Even the helping people move thing... Usually it's the Elder's Quorum President and maybe one or two other guys - usually the missionaries - who show up. Not the whole Quorum.

But guess what happens three times a week in my stake? Guess what they do THREE TIMES EVERY WEEK FOR TWO TO THREE HOURS - that's SIX TO NINE HOURS a week...? They play basketball. Sometimes they mix it up with football, but it's mostly basketball.

What the *^#($@?!?!?!?!

Instead of, say, organizing a day to help the scouts with their little projects...or pulling resources to visit families in the ward who need a little help...or even (Heaven forbid) spending time with their wives and children, they are playing a sport they've been playing since they were at least Deacons which has NO ETERNAL VALUE. None.

Do they really think when they arrive at those pearly gates that someone will say, "Wow, you've logged 27,875 hours of basketball! Cool!" NO.

I think they may still hear the number, but it will be in the context of, "You wasted how much time on this sporting activity? What about when Sister Johnson's son needed help in cub scouts because he didn't have a father in the home? What about when Brother McFee's car wouldn't start so he could get to work to support his family? What about when Sister Marshall's fence blew over and she lost the little dog that was her only companion? What about when your wife needed your help for an hour to watch the children? What about when your child wanted to play blocks with you? Were you there for any of those? No? Hm. Let me look over your records again. You must've done something in your Quorum...."

And what about something so simple as Home Teaching which they should be doing anyway? We've lived here for nearly TWO YEARS. We've been home taught ONCE.

Pregnancy Ups and Pregnancy Downs

2011-01-11T19:51:00.000-06:00

Just reflecting on my experiences so far this pregnancy... I've got about a month and a half to two months left, depending on whose due-date you believe. Since I'm about to hit that magic moment where I strongly dislike every moment of being huge, I thought I'd take the time to make a VISUAL list of the good and bad of pregnancy. We'll start with the bad in order to end on a positive note....

Pregnancy Downs:

Heartburn is my constant companion.

I do not look this good pregnant. Think Octomom at her halfway point...that's me.

I think I've actually seen my scale say this... So much for my pregnancy weight goal. I'm well on my way to being 200 lbs. And I haven't even been eating junk!

That red spot...that's where I feel like I've been pounded on by a sledgehammer when I wake up in the morning.

This is me. Almost every day.

You know when Pooh Bear has to "think, think, think" to remember something or come up with an idea? That's me when I walk in to a room to get something and can't remember what I went in to get.

No one tells you before pregnancy that you experience HOT FLASHES all during pregnancy. Even in the cold Texas weather.

Okay... So there are some really good things about pregnancy too. Like....

They make REALLY cute maternity clothes these days. Not like what my mom had to wear when she was pregnant.

I'm getting some adorable baby clothes, since I'm having a boy. All the sweet blues and greens, browns and reds, are adorable. It's so much fun to look at them and know my precious one will be snuggly warm.

I can pretty much sit back and relax at this point. My husband takes great care of me - he makes sure I don't lift anything too heavy and when he's home he does just about everything so I can rest.

I LOVE feeling the baby move. From the first tiny flutters to the FIFA World Cup-worthy slams, it's a wonderful feeling to know he's in there, moving around, growing, and getting pretty dang strong.

I get to name someone. That is amazing to me, that I'll pick a name and give it to a tiny baby who will go by that name all his life, and it will be a part of who he is. The search for the name was hard, but we've got one we really like and I think our son will like too.

Lucy's going to have someone else in her life. They may not always get along as they grow up, but they'll always have each other.

I read one of these birth books that I loved - and it told me that no matter how I look or feel while pregnant, I am a Birth Goddess. :-) I am participating in an act of creation that is profound and divine. I can handle that.

And, of course, the best thing is that I'm going to have a little boy. A sweet baby. Nine months of my body working hard, of discomfort, of highs and lows, prayers, and everything else comes down to one absolutely perfect moment of a little angel being put in my arms. That moment alone is worth all the rest.

Sorry for the picture overload. I just had fun making the list and illustrating it. I'm hitting "nesting" mode like crazy, so putting together a blog post with pictures helped and saved my husband from rearranging the closets again. :-)

My Fatal Flaw

2011-01-03T17:07:00.000-06:00

Every successful literary figure has what we call a "fatal flaw." It's actually one of the things that makes them work, allows them to stand the test of time, and gives literary folks tons of things to argue about. The fatal flaw can drive the story, get the character in trouble - or even killed. The term Aristotle used was "hamartia." Another phrase you may hear is "Achilles' heel." Here are some examples....

Harry Potter - wants to be a loner - thinks he has to save the day by himself, resists the help of others
Achilles - the heel itself was his undoing, but he also had a great deal of pride or hubris
Elizabeth Bennet - Prejudice
Mr. Darcy - Pride
Little Red Riding Hood - Gullibility
Three Little Pigs - Poor construction choices
Oliver Twist - Too trusting
Batman - Driving need to see justice administered - guilt over death of parents
Superman - Kryptonite
Dom Cobb (Inception) - Guilt

You get the idea. Well, I've discovered my fatal flaw. It's my inability to "play well with others." I can, in other words, do very well chatting and talking with just one other person, but put me in a group/party setting and I clam up, sit back, and watch instead of interact. This has made making friends quite difficult as I've become older. It doesn't matter how many playgroups I attend - if there are more than three women present I find myself reluctant to speak up attempt to contribute to the activity. If I'm one-on-one with someone, I can chat and enjoy a give and take conversation.

This is my fatal flaw. Now...what do I do with this information.... Hm.....

My Goals for 2011

2011-01-01T15:06:00.000-06:00

If I keep my goals simple, there's a good chance I'll achieve them... So it's a short list. :-)

Have a healthy baby boy
Get rid of the baby weight by my 26th birthday (in September)
Eat healthier - more fruits and veggies!
Make at least three more baby blankets (one for my daughter who is already 21 months, and one for each of my expectant sisters)
Make at least one block-quilt
Read LESS fiction, more fact
Give Lucy more structure during the day
Decorate a place of our own.... (praying for this one)

Last Year's New Year's Resolutions....?

2010-12-28T08:37:00.000-06:00

Do you make them? I made two last year, on the insistence of my father-in-law. And guess what? I accomplished both!

1 - Lose all the baby weight from Lucy. And I did. I lost thirty pounds from January 2010 to July 2010, when I discovered I was pregnant with baby number two. So yay for me!!!!

2 - Learn how to sew something, ANYTHING. Granted, I waited until the last minute - the week after Christmas - but I still learned how to sew a baby blanket in 2010!

This makes me feel hopeful about next year and more encouraged about making goals. I need to start making a list.....

Sewing! And Other Crafts.

2010-12-26T19:14:00.000-06:00

I'm so excited! About three weeks ago, my grandmother said she was going to teach my 14 year old sister how to sew a quilt. I asked if I could join the lessons and just do a simple baby blanket. Last week we started and I LOVE IT. I'm actually a little frustrated it took me this long to try - I always thought it'd be really hard - but it's fun and not at all difficult. I started talking more about how much I wanted to learn and get better at it and make really cool things.... And then, for Christmas, I got the best gift ever!

My mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law went in together and got me a SEWING MACHINE. I was not expecting it at all! It was the last present I opened on Christmas and by far the biggest surprise!

I can't let such a lovely piece of equipment go to waste, so I'll be working nice and hard on developing this new skill. Hopefully, I'll turn it in to a talent!

I also finally unveiled my decoupage boxes to my in-laws, as their Christmas gifts, and they LOVED them. Said they were beautiful, well done, and they spent a lot of time examining my handiwork. It made me feel good - I'm glad they were so kind and appreciative. It was my first effort and they made me want to keep at it! I've got great in-laws. :-)

Between modge-podge and sewing, maybe I'll actually get good at something and can have a more productive hobby than reading!

Elder Parr - Adventures in Montana: We did it because we love you.

2010-12-21T18:47:00.000-06:00

Elder Parr - Adventures in Montana: We did it because we love you.: "Monday December 20, 2010 One story: We were going to go to someone's house Saturday morning and help a man chop wood for his family ..."

My cousin is on his mission "Somewhere in Montana." And he is absolutely awesome. Read his Paul Bunyan experience and enjoy. :-)

Pin Curls

2010-12-20T13:07:00.000-06:00

Now I might actually be able to manage this one...and with family pictures coming up I'm going to have to start practicing....

She makes it look so easy!!!!

A Charlie Brown Christmas

2010-12-18T19:24:00.000-06:00

Christmas is over-commercialized. I think we can all agree on that. But it's this very obvious fact that makes Christmas such a hard time of year for struggling families. If it was just another day, we wouldn't care so much that we have so little. Because it's a day we have been conditioned to think of as something huge - trees, feasts, presents, gatherings - it feels worse to struggle at this time of the year than any other.

I love Christmas. I always have. My family has traditions I love. And I'm just talking about the "material" side of Christmas - it's a lot of fun. But I really wish we celebrated Christmas more like we celebrate Easter - on a smaller scale. Maybe just stockings instead of all the other stuff - after all, we don't have an Easter tree or exchange wrapped packages on that day. We might get a new Sunday outfit and a basket of candy. Why can't Christmas be the same way?

This year, we're struggling. So are Skye's parents and my mother's family. Skye and I aren't buying each other presents - we're just writing each other letters. We bought a $20 gift for Lucy that she'll love and she's got new crayons and a coloring book in her stocking. I'm glad she's too young to know what all the TV shows, commercials, and Santa are trying to tell her.

I haven't been listening to Christmas music - I find it a little depressing. I've been putting off wrapping Lucy's gift. I'm not really in the Christmas mood. It's just too hard to get there this year.

But tomorrow I get to teach my primary class about the prophecies of Christ's birth - and that has lifted my spirits considerably. This is the only reason I'm getting through the season: I'm focusing my own thoughts more on Jesus Christ. As an expectant mother, I'm also thinking a lot about Mary and all she went through as the mother of the Messiah. Because of these thoughts, and the scriptures, I am sincerely grateful for all that I have. I'm grateful for the home I live in, for my husband and daughter, for the new baby coming in just a couple of months, for the food on the table, that we all have clean and warm clothing, and most especially for the birth of the Savior over 2,000 years ago.

29 Weeks Pregnant, and Entering Terrible Twos

2010-12-12T18:28:00.000-06:00

Butternut squash. That's what the email I got today compared my baby to - in size. :-) I'm excited. I actually know what a butternut squash is, for one thing, and for another...that means I could have only 11 weeks left in my pregnancy!!!

That's less than three months.

That means I'm more than two-thirds of the way through.

I am so excited! Especially to have a little boy after having a girl. I can't wait to see how different they are, because of their gender and because of their personalities. Each child comes to the earth with their own, individual talents, personalities, and missions. :-) We plan on having a large family which means we'll be seeing a lot of variety.

Lucy is about to enter the terrible twos, as they are called. Today she made it through the first hour of Church - which is the Priesthood/Relief Society hour in our stake (SO backward. Don't even get me started.) - in nursery. Then she had a melt down so her daddy took her during Sunday School. Once we got to Sacrament Meeting, Lucy was in and out of the chapel. She threw food, screamed at people, and hit mommy with a pencil in the face. The first two times, Daddy took control. The third time, Mommy took her out. She KNEW she was in for it.

As I walked out with her to the foyer - my intention only to stand there with her until she calmed down - she announced to the other people sitting out there (from the other ward): "TROUBLE! Oooohhh.... Trouble!" One of the older women I know laughed and said, "You're in trouble? Uh oh!" Lucy then said: "Spanking!"

I was aghast. I mean, she does get the occasional swat, but she hadn't been even threatened with one today. I didn't even tell her that she was IN trouble, but she instinctively knew and put trouble with spanking. It was really weird to see my little parrot come up with her own words to describe her situation and what she thought was going to happen next. Clever, aren't they?

The Clash of the Christmas Traditions

2010-12-09T08:49:00.000-06:00

When you get married, you begin to discover there are a lot of things you didn't talk about beforehand that would have been good to know. For some, these can be major things like how many kids you want. For others, it can be little things like whose job it is to take out the garbage or do other household chores. I, being the brilliant woman I am, discussed most of these things with Skye pre-marriage. Children, chores, the role of a father, the role of a mother, et cetera.

One of the things we didn't really discuss - though it came up pretty quickly - were Christmas traditions. Here's where some of our traditions differed as we were raised:

Santa:

He brought Skye presents faithfully every year and even (gasp) showed up at the house on Christmas morning! He was the Christmas Spirit personified.
Sally was told from a very early age there's no such thing as Santa, he's a made up person, presents come from parents, AND (here's the kicker) Santa completely destroys the true reason for the season, the birth of Christ.

Presents:

Skye got all the BIG things he'd been wanting, and a plethora of packages. LOTS of stuff. This was the time of year to get everything you'd wanted the REST of the year.
We got one gift for the group to share - when we were younger it was a mini-kitchen and a couple of years ago it was a Wii - and then everyone got maybe one $20 gift and candy in stockings. We got the stuff we really wanted usually when we wanted it, earning it with chores or paying for it out of money we got elsewhere. We also had about five years where everything we got came from the Angel Tree in our ward. Not to be ungrateful, but the angel tree gifts were usually pretty lame. I never got anything other than bath stuff.

Christmas Eve:

Skye's family prepped for the big day and watched a family movie - usually A Christmas Carol.
This is our day of celebration at my mother's house. This was the day for the presents, the big feast, looking at Christmas lights, and everything!

Christmas Day:

Skye's family marched down the stairs, early in the morning, IN BIRTH ORDER, to the tree. They opened gifts, stockings, had Santa, lazed around until the big meal, and this was Christmas!
We woke up whenever the heck we felt like it and didn't have to wait for anyone to open our last two things - stockings, and a very special letter left in the tree by our mother in the night, one addressed to each of us. The rest of the day was spent being together, doing nothing.

Opening of the Gifts:

Everyone takes a turn, one at a time, one present at a time. This makes opening presents last about three times as long as necessary. Especially with the running commentary on each gift.
One...two...three...GO!!!! Flurry of ripping paper, laughter, exclamations of delight, and done in less then twenty minutes!!! Then we thank mother, show off the gifts, and commence complimenting one another. This makes everything very loud, but very fun. Then we grab a big garbage bag and put all the wrapping inside and...done!

You could see where these "minor" differences could lead to clashes between my husband and I. We haven't argued over a single thing so far. What's nice is that we're still a small enough family that we spend the holidays with our parents AND we live close enough to both that we go to my mom's on Christmas Eve and his family's on Christmas Day. So far, both sets of traditions are being observed. It will be interesting to see what happens if we ever move away, and what will happen when we have our own traditions.

Tangled - A More Coherent Movie Review

2010-12-06T08:57:00.000-06:00

Absolutely wonderful movie - hearkens back somewhat to the days of the Disney Renaissance, reminding one of stories like Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, and Aladdin. There are a lot of traditional Disney elements at play here - first, it's a fairy tale story told with a more traditional setting than Princess and the Frog - castles, fantastic landscapes, and characters wearing peasant-style clothing abound. Second, the characters SING. Nothing over the top or cheesy, just short and sweet songs or (in the case of the villain) diabolically clever little ditties.

They also did a great job of including some original elements from the Grimms' version of the story - this is the story based upon Rapunzel - with a unique Disney twist that makes it more marketable to families and children and less graphic/violent.

For those unfamiliar with the storyline, it involves the theft of a small child to satisfy the selfishness of a wicked witch, the child being locked in a tower and being led to believe the witch is her mother, someone stumbling upon the tower and finding the girl-now-grown-up... Then the Disney twist kicks in and the girl abandons the tower to follow her dream. But (and you'll see what I mean) the very end of the movie includes one more homage to the original story.

Rapunzel is spunky, cheerful, bright, and torn between being a dutiful daughter and following her heart (Ariel, anyone?). All she wants is one day of freedom to see what the world has to offer, and what she gets is a hodge-podge of friends and an adventure that takes her through the kingdom and (slowly) finds out the truth about her life.

I cried at the beginning and at the end, and I LOVED the whole movie. We will be buying this one as soon as it's out on DVD. It was FANTASTIC. The romance wasn't ridiculous - no "love at first sight" here - and the comedy was present on several levels. We laughed a LOT. There's also enough ACTION/ADVENTURE that a boy could sit through it and REALLY enjoy it.

Warning: Scary scenes for younger children may include the kidnapping of the heroine as a small child, an intense chase scene, a character being wounded, and a death scene.

Subjects to talk about with children: Kidnapping, REAL parental love, verbal abuse of a child ("mother" says various unkind things to "daughter.").

Oh - and we saw it in 3D. Maybe worth the extra bucks for older people, but I'm betting 2D would've been just as good if we'd had younger children with us. There are a few scenes that do make the 3D worthwhile.

All in all - 5/5 stars from me!

Yeah, I Cry During Disney Movies

2010-12-02T19:39:00.000-06:00

The first one I remember crying during was Beauty and the Beast - which also happens to be my favorite classic. There I was, about eight years old, watching this wonderful movie (featuring a brunette Disney princess, which I loved), and then the Beast was KILLED. Watching it now, it's a pretty corny moment, but as a little kid I was sure the world was coming to an end and that the movie I was watching was really stupid if they were going to end it that way.

I cried when Tarzan's parents were killed, to the tune of a Phil Collins song.

I cried through the first few minutes of Up. Very melancholy beginning, that one.

I cried at the end of Toy Story 3, but that was a really happy cry, a warm-fuzzy cry.

But, taking the cake so far, is the newest Disney film - Tangled. I found myself tearing up at the beginning and whispering to my husband, "How terrible! How awful!" When you who are parents go and see it, you'll understand. Especially if you happen to be pregnant like I am.

I teared up again in the middle and leaned my head on my husband's shoulder to say, "I'm so glad they showed that." You'll know what I mean. It's a tender moment between a married couple.

And I cried during the last few minutes - again, the warm-fuzzy kind of cry.

I. Hate. Crying. Especially over silly movies made for children. I'm worse when I'm pregnant - I can't even watch certain commercials without getting all weepy. But I think, pregnant or not, I would have been touched by Tangled. It's one of the most amazing films Disney has done, probably my favorite from the past TWENTY years. It was beautiful in terms of artwork. I need to do a better review of this, I'm sure, but I have to say that it was wonderful and I would recommend it to EVERYONE. Go see it. See it in theaters, it will be better that way. And if you can spare the extra bucks, go ahead and see it in 3D. There are a couple of scenes that really make that worthwhile.

I have to go chase my daughter and nephew now.

GO. SEE. TANGLED. And take a tissue, too. Just in case.

"Wheee!!!"

2010-11-29T13:29:00.000-06:00

Listen for the little "whee" as she walks away from the slide. She's adorable.

Vacation Shots - Myrtle Beach, SC

2010-11-22T10:23:00.000-06:00

Sunday's Family Walk

Out of the Loony Bin

2010-11-19T08:59:00.000-06:00

I am OUT OF HERE!

We are taking our first REAL family vacation in a long, long, long time. That's right. We're packing up the car, the little girl, kissing the dog goodbye, and going off on an adventure for Thanksgiving!

So today, I'm grateful for my in-laws who are providing us with this much needed trip, helping out by paying for our gas and food, and providing the lodging.

We'll actually be hanging out by the Atlantic Ocean. :-) Lucy's first beach experience! Too bad it's going to be FREEZING!

After nine months of Skye being in Paramedic school (he's taking his national exam this VERY moment!), working two jobs, and living with my family, we feel we are in need of this break. It's going to be lovely.

So adios, people! And hope you have a happy Thanksgiving!!!

Book Review: Behemoth, Book 2 in Leviathan Series

2010-11-15T22:29:00.002-06:00

Behemoth by Scott Westerfeld
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Absolutely phenomenal work! After reading several sequels that did not live up to their predecessors, Behemoth meets the standards the author set for himself in the previous book and exceeds them. In this second book of his Leviathan series, Scott Westerfeld continues the story of our heroes right where he left off.

Aboard the Leviathan, after the challenge of battling Clanker enemies in a half-injured airship, Alek and Deryn continue to struggle with their respective secrets while maintaining a friendship that should be off-limits and possibly quite treasonous. They journey towards Istanbul, to win the favor of the Sultan and stop the powerful Ottoman empire from entering the war on Germany's side. Upon arrival in the great city, Alek and his three loyal companions realize that this is their last chance to escape the Leviathan and discovery of his true identity. At the same time, Deryn is part of a political envoy which attempts to gain the favor of the Sultan only to discover the city is already under a heavy German influence.

Amid these challenges, and on the very night of Alek's planned escape, one of the top secret military beasties, so long watched over by Alek, hatches one of the strangest Darwinist creations of all. Saddled with this beastie, Alek and his men make their escape. Alek takes command of his men and begins to make plans of his own to aid in ending the conflict between nations as quickly as possible.

Deryn, honored for her service on the airship and trusted by the officers, is assigned a top secret mission which will give the Darwinists the edge they need over the Clanker forces. During this mission, Deryn becomes separated from her airship and - still disguised as a boy - decides to take her chances in the city at Alek's side, aiding in an Ottoman revolution that could very well be an early turning point in the war.

Add to this satisfying plot a mix of new characters - an "anarchist" young lady and her eccentric but brilliant family and an American newspaperman - and you have another adventure with plenty of explosions, chase scenes, and political intrigue. With the imaginative machines of the Clankers and the impossible creatures of the Darwinists, and brilliant illustrations of both, this book his colorful and enjoyable.

View all my reviews

Book Review: Scorch Trials

2010-11-12T22:25:00.002-06:00

The Scorch Trials by James Dashner
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

You know how some sequels are fantastic continuations of a story which introduce new plots, scenarios, and characters? Well, this one isn't. This sequel reads almost exactly the same as the first book in terms of frustration, lack of character development, and the plot is much the same. If you've read the first and second book of the Hunger Games series, it's a little worse than that. Scorch Trials, book two in the Maze Runner series, seems like it is only a vehicle to get you to the third book. Much of what happens could have been condensed in to about a third of the book. The protagonist is still clueless, still running for his life with his friends, still watching people die, still not sure how he feels about the female lead, still, still, still!

And we've now got zombies added to the story. That seems to be the answer to everything in YA literature right now. If you need something for the character to stumble upon/overcome, insert a zombie-fighting scene!

All in all, I was very disappointed with this book. I still plan to read the third, however, because it should go better considering it's the last one. You know, we'll finally figure something useful out. Because really, this book began much like the first, rambled on and on about lost memories and the strange creators of the maze/trials (like the first), and ended with our character uncertain of his future/safety/girlfriend/sanity (like the first). This book was not worth the day I spent reading it.

View all my reviews

Things to NEVER SAY to a Pregnant Woman

2010-11-09T15:55:00.000-06:00

Never, ever, ever guess whether or not she's pregnant is the first rule. If you don't know, and she wants you to know, she will tell you or make a comment that makes it obvious.
If you DO know that she's pregnant, DO NOT GUESS THE DUE DATE! I was really upset today when someone said, "So you're due in December, right?" "Um. No. February." "Oh. Hopefully early February." I'm soooooooo sorry, is my belly too huge for you already? Do I really look that incredibly large? Sorry we can't all be STICKS with BASKETBALLS under our shirts!!!
Stop giving me obnoxious birthing advice. You can clearly see I've got an 19 month old with me. I've done this before. Oh - and I didn't have the epidural/c-section like you. Mine was ALL NATURAL. Not by choice, but still, I've experienced something you haven't.
You are a size four. You've just offered me your old maternity clothes in front of a huge group of people. I am, quite obviously, not a size four. What are you thinking...?
Don't tell me how to eat, please. I'm actually eating quite healthily. More so than normal. I didn't even eat more than two pieces of snack size candy on Halloween.

I've had all four of these experiences in the past week, all from other women. WOMEN. We should really know better, ladies. Here are alternatives to those four things that COULD have been said....

Um...like I said, don't guess. I'll make it obvious. So this one is - stop staring at my belly and have a conversation like a normal person.
Ask instead, "When are you due again? It's hard to tell, you're looking really good." I don't care if it's a white lie. It's what I want to hear. Men, oddly enough, get this one!
Don't tell me HOW to give birth, just share your story and let me share mine and we can both smile and nod and say it was great either way.
You're feeling generous. Email me later, in private maybe, if you think you have something I'd like.
You are not a nutrition. You have not seen the inside of my fridge. Food discussion doesn't really need to happen now, does it?

Doctor Whats-His-Face

2010-11-02T12:15:00.000-05:00

I just met with the doctor who's going to be in charge of me until I'm gone. Doctor Fronswky - or that's what it sounded like. He was very nice, an older chap, but told me in no uncertain terms that he thinks I'm ridiculous for seeing a nurse-midwife when I've obviously got health issues during pregnancy. Hm. Here's what else he said...

1) They will not release me until my "culture" is back from the lab - usually a total of 48 hours, which would mean sometime tomorrow morning/early afternoon

2) I need to be on antibiotics every moment until then, as well as an IV, to flush my system with fluids and b/c they can give me a lot more antibiotics that way than through a pill

3) They sent me home with the wrong antibiotics on Sunday which is why my pain level went ridiculously high

4) Definitely not kidney stones, but kidney inflammation and the beginnings of a severe infection

5) My kidneys do weird things when I'm pregnant and if I was his patient he would put me on a regular antibiotic to be taken throughout the pregnancy...maybe I should ask if he accepts Medicaid.

6) My ureters (spelling...?) aren't "firing" correctly, but there's nothing they can really do about that. The tube coming from the healthy kidney is about twice as active as the one coming from the infected kidney.

7) Baby boy is fine. His heartbeat is regular and he's not suffering at all - though he has been incredibly active. Every time they listen to his heartbeat, he kicks really hard right where the "mic" is.

They're also letting me have solid food again since I'm no longer nauseas.

Best part about being in the hospital: LOTS and LOTS of sleep. The antiobiotics make me drowsy and no one wakes me up while I nap.

Worst part: I miss Lucy terribly. She left me a voicemail this morning that was adorable and when I called her back she actually had enough of a conversation with me to tell me what she was doing (paying outside!) what she ate (eggs...mmm...eggs!) and ask me "Mama..bye bye? Bye bye? Mama, boo-boo?" She's getting so big.

So here I sit, IV in my arm, laptop on my legs, with a huge cup of water my nurse wants to be gone in the next hour. Or less.

Hospital Stay

2010-11-01T20:46:00.000-05:00

We went to the ER Sunday morning, for me. This is what happened: I woke up that morning really sore all over but especially in my lower left back. It felt like muscle pain to me. After an hour of being sore, I thought I'd try a few little stretches to see if I could get the muscles worked out. I promise I didn't do anything wrong or anything dangerous. But after five minutes of stretching, the pain began to escalate rapidly. I went from feeling sore to feeling like someone was stabbing me in the back. I came and laid in bed next to Skye, who was still asleep, and tried very hard not to cry. He woke up and asked about my symptoms, pain, etc, and said he wanted me to go to the doctor. We argued about it for about twenty minutes until I agreed I'd take some Tylenol and if that didn't cut the feeling we could go. He brought me Tylenol, I had a small sip of water, and then I was throwing up thirty seconds later. The Paramedic in him took charge and he made me get dressed and head out. We only took the time to tell the family here we needed them to watch Lucy and we grabbed my Medicaid card. ER folks weren't busy and several knew Skye, so they saw us pretty quick and made us comfortable. They gave me morphine and ran a test or two, made us wait a while longer, and came back saying they didn't think it was severe. Possibly kidney stones. I got a prescription for antibiotics, Vicodin, and something for nausea. I was told to contact an OBGYN for a sonogram Monday if I wasn't feeling better - not b/c the baby is in any kind of danger, but b/c it's the best way to check pregnant women for kidney stones that are blocking the tubes.

All last night I felt miserable and kept waking up in pain, with nausea. At 7:30 AM I called my CNM and she said "Go straight back to the ER, get the sonogram, and good luck!" Well...she said more than that, but that was the important part. Back to the ER we came, with me in severe pain, pale, unable to keep my eyes open or really make conversation b/c I was shaking and hurting pretty bad. We got the sonogram and it isn't kidney stones - but inflammation of some kind, and a bacterial infection.

They have me on morphine every few hours and two different antibiotics. I really hope I'm better by tomorrow evening - at least with the pain taken down enough for me to go home. I miss my Lucy girl.

Now both my babies have put me in the hospital - the little darlings!

If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans - Review

2010-10-31T19:56:00.001-05:00

Hilarious and eye-opening, thought-provoking and at times earning a "RIGHT ON!" from me as I read. This was my first Ann Coulter book. I'd heard her name - who hasn't? - and I knew she was a "devout" conservative, but I was really hesitant to pick it up. It seems even Republicans cast a wary glance in her direction before opening their mouths...and with good reason. Coulter's political and personal views are strongly held, maintained, and defended. I enjoyed reading this collection of her quotes, thoughts, interviews, and columns on this variety of subjects - everything from Bill Clinton to terrorists, and a whole slew of quotes that other people have said about her.

Not for the faint of heart, but certainly enjoyable for people who enjoy witty political repertoire. I give it 5/5 stars! I mean...the title alone deserves that much....

NaNoWriMo

2010-10-29T22:30:00.000-05:00

I'm doing it. Or...well...trying to do it. For the fourth time.

I'm not trying to get PUBLISHED or anything. I just want to start exercising my brain/vocab/fingers/imagination a little. It's been waaaaay too long since I've challenged myself on this level.

If you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about, here's an explanation. That's right - I bet you didn't even know that November is NAtional NOval WRiting MOnth.

I've tried to do this thing since I was a sophomore in college and I'm actually really excited to try once more. Last year was a total bomb because of all the stuff going on in our lives and our young Lucy was. This year, I think I've got a better chance of at least a good showing.

I'm going to try, very, very hard, to write 50,000 words in the 30 days of November. I've even got a rough outline for a plot. I'm participating on the NaNoWriMo forums and getting encouragement/encouraging other writers. I've got online writing buddies to help cheer me on. Best of all, perhaps, is that my local library is hosting several "write-ins" at their different branch locations.

Don't even ask me about what I'm writing, though, or if you can read it when I'm done. I don't think I'm quite that brave. Yet.

How do you kill a headache?

2010-10-28T10:09:00.000-05:00

I've had a headache that has gone back and forth in intensity the last FOUR DAYS. Sometimes it's just a little niggling "ouch" at the back of my skull and other times it's a full blown migraine that makes my eyeballs pulse and reaches out through my neck and shoulders.

I thought I had it licked yesterday, after two doses of extra strength Tylenol and two cans of Cherry Coke. But not so. It's back this morning.

Laughing My Head Off

2010-10-26T13:15:00.000-05:00

Okay...this is the best story of parental control I've heard for a while. My younger brother has not been doing what he's told. He doesn't get off the computer until a quarter of an hour after he's asked, he doesn't go to bed until HOURS after he's asked, he's on the phone late at night (and thinks no one knows), is "dating" a girl when he's not old enough to date and the girl does not have parental approval, and most of this stems from him chatting/saying whatever he wants on Facebook.

The last straw sounds like it is no big deal, but on top of everything else my mother had enough of his smart-alec behavior when he posted his "relationship" status as "In a relationship." She told him, one week ago, to change it and change it fast. He finally got around to it yesterday evening. He changed it to "Married." Well, she thought it was funny but also knew he was giving her attitude. Today, upon logging in to Facebook, people can now see my brother's status is "single" and this is what's on his profile:

This account is now on lockdown by Patrick’s mother. She asked him to change his relationship status and he made her laugh by changing it to "married." That isn’t what she meant though and he knew that. Patrick’s mother checks his facebook page on occasion and appreciates friends that do not use inappropriate words and use good grammar. Be advised that his facebook is watched and I hope your parents watch yours too.

I think it's hilarious. He's my brother, I love him, but this is perfect. Parents are all powerful! Some of the comments are pretty cute too. Well...we've all got to learn sometime!

Google Takes Over the World

2010-10-25T17:00:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I do wonder if they're plotting some kind of take over... Check out the newest Google gizmo... Google TV.

http://www.google.com/tv/

I admit, it does seem cool on many levels. And I am a Google-Girl (email account, Google Talk/Chat, Blogger, News.Google.com, and always using the search engine...), but even I must wonder if they are slowly brain-washing us all or taking over the world!!! :-)

Breakfast

2010-10-22T11:11:00.000-05:00

I'm being good today! After being horrible for the last two (maybe three) weeks, I decided I really needed to get back on track. Today for breakfast I had a slice of toast with peanut butter and an orange/banana smoothie made with the "no sugar added" variety of orange juice. Yum...... It was satisfying and I don't feel sick!

Lucy's breakfast was a little more creative as she just pointed to things she thought looked good. She was sitting on the counter-top while I was making my breakfast. She pointed to an orange, a banana, a flour tortilla, ice cubes, and one bite of left-over brownie.

What do you think constitutes a healthy breakfast?

Big Girl Bed

2010-10-19T09:07:00.000-05:00

After a little shifting of furniture, and a REALLY selfless attitude on the part of a teenage sister, Lucy's bed has been moved to another room in the house. The teenage sister has a double bed in her room, and now Lucy's crib-converted-to-toddler-bed.

Last night was the first night we tried Lucy in there. The sister was elsewhere, so Lucy got to start in the double bed with me laying next to her until she was asleep. She fell asleep quickly, within fifteen minutes, and I went out. I stayed up with hubby for a few hours, then we turned out our lights. But I couldn't sleep. I was 100% tuned in to the baby monitor, waiting for Lucy to wake up. This meant I was wide awake until just past midnight.

I finally dozed off and about an hour later I heard her little voice calling "Mama? Mama!!!" I was up and in there pretty quick, soothing her back to sleep. That took a long time. She was really upset that I might leave her again. I ended up falling asleep and spent the rest of the night in there.

I'm calling it a 50% success. It will take a few nights before both of us get the hang of it. Naptime will be spent in the toddler bed today. Wish us luck.

Cheese Incident

2010-10-13T17:45:00.000-05:00

I find it startling how much interest I have taken in this incident. This is what comes of being a stay at home mother. :-)

Lucy asked for her current favorite treat - string cheese. She came up to me and just repeated the one word, "Cheese!" over and over again. I gave her the cheese and she proceeded to nibble at it quite daintily. She is a very slow, methodical, and tidy eater for an 18 month old. Lucy sat on the floor to eat the cheese with one hand while the other doodled on a piece of notebook paper.

The dog snuck up behind her, looking very innocent. Then, when Lucy rested the cheese-holding-hand on the ground, Boca made her move and grabbed for it. I was watching and jumped up to deliver cruel, cruel justice to the dog who went away with tail between her legs and (alas) no cheese. I replaced Lucy's doggy-drool cheese stick with another from the fridge.

Lucy decided the only way to insure the safety of her cheese, turns out, was to take a bite and then stuff it in the couch cushion while she colored. She returned every few minutes to get another bite, but stuffed the cheese back in the cushion after each taste.

The dog, aware of the hiding place, has been watching it with me perhaps hoping Lucy and I will both forget about it and she can go digging for it. Which means, of course, I'm stuck watching toddler, puppy, and cheese. Oh, the drama that could unfold!!!

(I really need a hobby.)

Vent

2010-10-12T08:34:00.000-05:00

I can't BREATHE in the mornings, and when I blow my nose, the Kleenex is always red. EW.

I can't SLEEP at night, because we still haven't successfully transferred Lucy to her own bed - I woke up this morning with her right heel connecting to my jaw.

She won't sleep in her own bed because we're all in ONE ROOM together.

People keep telling me there's a LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, with Skye finishing school and testing in November, but we still have to find a job (in this economy?!) and pay off debt. Yeah. Thanks, you crazy light people.

The STUPID DOG wakes us up every morning with her THUMPING tail - her kennel is too small for her quickly growing body, but have you ever priced those things? Can't afford to go get one at the moment.

I am HUNGRY all the time, even though I'm taking prenatals and "eating right."

My HEAD hurts, from a half hour cry I had yesterday.

And the one and only person I've tried to express these feelings to (not husband) told me all of this was only HORMONES and I should just "push through it." Thanks. A lot. Really.

My Life According to Brad Paisley

2010-10-10T21:47:00.001-05:00

I got tagged in one of these list things on Facebook - and it was fun to do, so I thought I'd post it here too in case any bloggers want to try it out. :-)

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 10 people you like and include me. You can't use the band/singer I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name/singer)"

Pick your Artist: Brad Paisley

Describe yourself: She's Her Own Woman

How do you feel: I’ve Been Better

Describe where you currently live: Too Country

If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Back to the Future

Your favorite form of transportation: If Love was a Plane

Your best friend: He Didn’t Have to Be

What's the weather like? The Uncloudy Day

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called? Everybody’s Here

What is life to you? Little Moments

Your fear: Departure

What is the best advice you have been given? You Need a Man Around Here

Thought for the day: Somebody Knows You Now

My soul's present condition: In the Garden

My motto: We Danced

Name Game

2010-10-09T20:20:00.000-05:00

I am a cruel and selfish wife. I told my husband I did not like the name that he has loved since his days in high school and asked if we could please try for something else. His name: Bridger. I just think it sounds too...Utah. Too...trendy. Something. Of course, it doesn't help that the satirical website, Seriously, So Blessed, author claims to have a son by the name of Tridger. *shudder*

Other names we've pulled out so far.... In no particular order...

Gideon
Teancum
Gagan
Wyatt
Jake
Colt
Jasper
Liam
Holden
Zane
Asher
Levi
Caleb

Well...some are his, some are mine. Neither, so far, belong to both of us. Twenty weeks to decide....

Sonogram Results

2010-10-07T14:36:00.000-05:00

It's a BOY!

We are SO excited! We were expecting another little girl. Skye is especially pleased, as fathers usually are at this type of news. :-) I'm due the last week of February. Hooray!!!!

It's Fall!

2010-10-04T08:44:00.000-05:00

Although Fall officially beings in September in most parts of the world, we were still experiencing very hot weather and it didn't feel like Fall. Now, after the first weekend in October, I think it's here! At last!

All day Sunday, during General Conference (another marker that it is officially Fall), we left our back doors and windows open and my daughter and nephew shrieked and hollered and ran around outside with my dog and my sister's dog. There was a cool breeze and the weather was just crisp enough that everyone inside watching Conference (not moving around) had to cuddle up under blankets.

I. Love. Fall. We get about three weeks of Fall here, usually, before Winter descends in bitter chilliness. THREE WEEKS. Not nearly long enough. But during those glorious weeks, I plan on keeping the doors open and letting Lucy play outside like crazy!

Shock of my Life!!!

2010-09-24T11:28:00.000-05:00

I had a wonderful birthday yesterday, thanks to my thoughtful husband and vivacious little girl! I also learned something new about Skye, which was a real treat. I learned that he enjoys clothing shopping...not for himself, but for me! It was a startling discovery and not one I expected to make.

We went to Motherhood Maternity to see if they had any dresses for sale, and that's all I wanted to look at.I promised Skye all the way in that I wouldn't take long, I just needed to find one on sale to try on, I'd be quick, etc.

I found one and went to the dressing room to try it on - and I barely had it over my head before two blouses were put over the door and my husband's voice said, "Try these on!" Next came a cute pair of Bermuda shorts, three t-shirts, a sweater, and more. Before I could try on one item, two more would come over the door, and he wanted to see all of it. He pronounced everything I tried on as "cute," "gorgeous," "trendy," etc...except for two things which I agreed on when he said they looked like big sacks with arm holes. He pushed me to purchase more than I intended to spend and said, "you deserve it!" He also showed remarkable taste, considering how "iffy" maternity clothes can be.

I've NEVER gone clothing shopping, for myself, with my husband. I always wanted to spare him that ordeal so many men complain about - having to sit around and wait for a woman to shop, or try on clothes, or hold her purse, etc. My man is a "manly-man" and I thought it was me being nice to not require his presence when I did something so mundane as try on clothing. But he loved it - he wanted to know why we'd never done it before. Even with Lucy running between my stall and him at the sales rack.

Maybe that was the best birthday present - being with my family and discovering this new thing my husband enjoyed doing with/for me. :-)

The other thing we did I enjoyed was go to Red Robin for lunch - I got a free gourmet California Chicken Sandwich for my birthday. :-) Totally delicious!

Ask for What You Want

2010-09-15T08:58:00.000-05:00

I just read the most intriguing post over at the Abundance Blog at Marelisa Online. I'm trying to decide how it fits in with my life today. The whole idea behind this post is that we need to ask - actually verbalize our goals and desires to someone - to get what we want in life. With many things, and several examples in this post, the author is right. We've got to ask for a raise, for a promotion, for the gift we want for our birthday if we expect to get it, and things like that. So, if we want to be happier people, and we have goals in mind to help us get there, we ask.

The author of this post challenged readers to come up with a list of 20 goals and then think of who to go to to ask, and be granted, these particular wishes. I'm going to have to think on this one, but I may post 20 goals later today or later in the week. Since my birthday is coming up, it's a good time of year to compile a wish list, whether the things on it are tangible or not.

My husband keeps asking me what I want. I try not to want things, all year long, because I'm budget-conscious. I don't want to spend money we don't have. I want to meet essential needs first. Yesterday, I bought myself a pair of jeans. The only reason I didn't feel guilty was because I used a gift card from my sister at a place which only sold clothing for ME. I couldn't spend it on my husband or even my daughter. So I got something I wanted. For me. And it was such a lovely feeling. Quite frankly, I don't think I need anything for my birthday now. I got what I'd been wanting most for a while - pants that fit. ;-)

But my husband keeps asking, and he's given me a dollar limit (like I gave him for his birthday) so I can't ask for anything "too small" or "too big."

Better come up with that list.....

Texas Seasons...I mean, Weather....

2010-09-07T08:42:00.000-05:00

There have been many things said about Texas, and a variety of the comments are about the weather. Since people first started pouring in to Texas, early in our nation's history, they have compared the territory/country/state to Heaven and Hell. One of my favorite "political" quotes, incidentally, is from David Crockett when he wasn't reelected as Governer: "You may all go to Hell, and I will go to Texas." Sometimes, I feel that way about the political system...I'm just too ladylike to say it.

Anyway, today I have been thinking about the Texas weather. I have also heard it said that Texas doesn't really have seasons - just variations in the weather forecast. I believe that. You're as likely to have a 75 degree day in April, June, October, or even on Christmas Day. We've also had snow as early as October, none at all in a year, or a freak ice storm in March after three weeks of 80 degree heat. We can go from a beautiful sunny day to an all-out hail storm, or from a peaceful foggy morning to a green-out and tornado. It's just not constant around here.

For instance, we had a fairly cool "summer" from June to the beginning of August - never higher than 95 or 98 degrees. That's pretty mild for us. Then, for about three weeks in August, we suddenly hit above 100 degrees EVERY SINGLE DAY. Now, we've got rain forecast for most of this week, and today we aren't supposed to hit it any warmer than 84 degrees. Amazing, since yesterday it was about 100 degrees.

NOTHING is constant in Texas, except for the Texans themselves. I've got a bumper sticker that says "Native Texan." So do a lot of other people. Texas is a place to be proud of, despite the crazy weather. My second-favorite bumper sticker I see all over the place too, which just proves even outsiders are won over eventually: "I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as quick as I could."

Writing.

2010-09-03T15:20:00.000-05:00

Been reading the blogs of some of my favorite authors. Isn't that weird - I can now see the (almost) daily thoughts of the people who write my favorite books? I mean, author websites were cool in the late 90s and early 2000s...but not this cool. I can even LEAVE COMMENTS and some of my authors are still invested enough in their fans (not just their paychecks) that they respond to comments, or even (GASP) visit the blogs of people who comment.

I am not worthy. ;-)

Seriously, though, I like it. They remain human, which means their ranks are not so lofty and unattainable as some of us would think. I still entertain thoughts of writing something, someday. After reading L. M. Montgomery's biography, I also still think there's hope if I would just dedicate the time to it. There's where the trouble really is...there's no time right now in my life to begin such a major project. I tried NaNoWriMo last year and didn't even get a third of the word count - a measly 13,000 words. My little girl demanded too much attention. I'm not holding out much hope for this year either.

Besides...with some of the stuff I've been reading lately, I know that if THOSE authors can get published (not my favorite authors, but the ones who I can't even get halfway through the book before throwing my hands in the air in disgust) then I could too.

I don't need to be another Rowling or Meyer (shudder), it'd just be nice to see something in print.

Someday.

Contemplating having a Lazy Day...and ramblings

2010-09-02T08:18:00.000-05:00

I've got a huge to-do list today, but with the rain and lack of sleep from the THUNDER storm, I feel much more like curling up in bed with a good book and reading the day away. That's my right as a stay-at-home mother, right? I can do things like that, so long as the child I stay at home for is fed, watered, and clean.... Right?

Maybe after naps I can start on my to-do list, because then I might have more energy.

Just now, daughter and puppy are both picking on each other over the box of nerds someone gave Lucy. Lucy keeps dropping nerds which the dog then tries to eat which makes Lucy scream and get mad and yell at the dog.

This pregnancy is SO MUCH better than the last, because I'm at home. Honestly, I got to the point where I hated my job and contemplated just outright quitting without notice every single day I woke up. Oh wait...I felt that way before I even got pregnant.....

Skye's testing for fire departments this month. Wish him luck. We're hoping for one in particular, but since he's just starting as a trainee we'll take what we can get.

Now...on to breakfast.

Mockingjay Review - Short, Sweet, No Spoilers

2010-08-26T09:54:00.000-05:00

Stunning. I cried on the last few pages, though the rest of the book had me moving quickly and wishing very much to just GET to the THE END. I wanted so badly to know what happened.

Suzanne Collins deserves high praise and honor for the final book in this series. She neither left us in throes of agony - though they were experienced - nor tied everything up in a pretty silver ribbon where everything is always happily ever after. (Even J.K. Rowling fell in to that trap!)

I want to read the series all over again. I am very pleased with all of it - with Katniss in her imperfections, that Peeta has a backbone, that Gale - ever hungry for revenge - is put into a perspective that explains so much more about his relationship with Katniss.

I hope they do these books some justice in the film. I hope Suzanne Collins receives lots of praise but not enough to harm her future writing. This is one series that I'm really glad ended, because the characters need a rest after all they went through.

Can you tell, I'm just a little euphoric after finishing? :-) Would LOVE to discuss it with someone.

What a Child can Accomplish in Five Minutes

2010-08-24T09:36:00.000-05:00

I should have taken pictures. Words just don't do Lucy's artistic abilities justice. So, picture this.

Artistic material used: strange mushy substance from own diaper
Subject matter: the master bedroom & dog
Time: approximately 5 minutes
Result: time out and half an hour cleaning for mother

When children are being very quiet, they are not being very good. I looked up from a book I was reading - in the SAME ROOM with the little artist - to see her holding out a hand to me and saying "sticky!" I thought she found a leftover cinnamon roll and went to clean it up. Then I saw the same substance all over the back of the dog. On the sliding glass door. On the curtain. Carpet. Computer chair. Then, my suddenly-not-so-sensitive pregnant-lady nose picked up on a certain smell.

Yes. What you think happened, happened. It was quite the sight. I started off pretty mad about it, but halfway through the process I was cracking up. I had no one but myself to blame, really, and the poor dog was the biggest victim since she had to have a bath, and she looked like she felt really guilty about the whole thing while Lucy just kept asking for something to eat.

Wow.

The Joys of Weight-Loss and Weight-Gain

2010-08-19T09:34:00.000-05:00

I very nearly reached my goal weight a couple of months ago. I was only two pounds off. Then, I inexplicably stopped losing and gained a couple of pounds. This meant, of course, that I got completely off my diet, waited a week for the HCG to go out of my system, and THEN took a pregnancy test. :-)

I'm now 12 weeks pregnant. :-) Really excited about it, too! Lucy really needs someone and it's just a shame it takes nine months for that someone to show up! And another year, probably, before they'll be any fun. :-)

Well, instead of staying with my diet, I decided I could splurge a little b/c, after all, I'm pregnant! So I have gained about 8 lbs. You're only supposed to gain around 5 lbs during the first trimester, so I'm feeling pretty good about myself. The overall goal for this pregnancy is to gain no more than 40 lbs. That may seem a little generous to some of you, but considering that I gained 50 lbs with the last pregnancy, and I was already 20 lbs overweight at that point, I think I've picked an attainable goal. Of course, I'd prefer to gain less and will work on that, but I will NOT feel bad about myself for 40 lbs. WILL NOT.

Due date is March 6th, 2011, for anyone wondering. :-) I'm SO EXCITED!!!!

Mockingjay

2010-08-16T10:14:00.000-05:00

Eight days.

Then the Capitol will fall!

Love this series. Particularly the part that the heroine is really quite clueless when it comes to her own part in this enormous rebellion. Everyone thinks she's at the heart of it, when in reality she has no idea what's going on.

Katniss Everdeen...will you ever find out what happened to Peeta, the young man who loved you so without ever asking for anything in return? Or is Gale truly the one for you? Will President Snow fulfill his threats? What really happened to District 13?

Yes. I'm a nerd. I can't wait to get my hands on this book and I'm relieved it didn't take six years to go from the first to the last installment.

Fathers

2010-08-12T10:59:00.000-05:00

I know - it's two months late for Father's Day - but I just had a thought today about this particular subject. I was listening to some country music, not always my first choice of music but it's easy to listen to when you're folding laundry, and a song came on called "I loved her first." It's about a dad who's watching his daughter dance with her husband at their wedding. The father sings that he was there for her first smile, and many other firsts, and he loves his little girl and asks her husband to be careful with her.

Before the song was even over, big tears were rolling down my cheeks. I felt really, really stupid for a minute.

Every time I think I'm okay with the way I grew up, there's a moment when I'm reminded that some things will always hurt. It's gotten better, especially since the birth of my own child and my husband being such a wonderful father. Now, when songs like that come on, I try to divert my thoughts to being grateful my children will know what it's like to be raised and loved by a good man. I still have my moments. When we were first married, my husband watched me have a total emotional breakdown after a brief confrontation with the man who raised me - my legal dad, the one who adopted me and whose name I had. Later, after our daughter was born, he watched it happen again when the man whose genes I share - and who I prefer to give the title of "Dad" to - flew in to town for my daughter's baby blessing when he had not come for mine twenty-three years before.

People change. I know that. It's been a quarter of a century since my biological father and mother parted ways, with hurt likely on both sides. He's since reentered my life as a positive influence and help. But that doesn't change years of separate history, so it's hard to connect with him. The man who raised me until I was fifteen is another story - he started out as the good guy and ended up being the unstable and cruel person who made life scary for a while. I've completely shut him out of my life, with no regrets.

All this said, I watch my husband with our daughter every day and know she has a wonderful father. He can make her laugh like no one else, and she runs to him with arms open every day. Yesterday she got really excited about something and came into the room shouting his name, grabbing his hand and dragging him out to show him whatever it was. :-) He dances with her, sings to her, puts her to bed at night, teaches her new and daring tricks, and puts her on his shoulders when she wants to be tall. He is absolutely amazing.

All better!

2010-08-08T20:49:00.000-05:00

Lucy is 100% over whatever it was she had! (Yup. Still don't know.)

She's happy again - no fever, no messy diapers, no vomiting.

Instead, she's got some type of allergy going on - pollen count is high and I've got it too, so I'm not too terribly worried.

Skye is at work. Another Mexican Rodeo. Joy. Last night was the Brad Paisley concert. In the middle of the concert, Skye sent me a text that said: "We are never letting our kids go to a concert without adult supervision. Ever." I agreed but asked why. Once again, about 90% of the people he had to transport out of there were UNDERAGE DRINKERS. Stupid.

Also...caught Lucy "spinning" like a whirling dervish as she sang a sweet little song. It was adorable. Now she just needs to work on her conversation skills.

I Have a Secret!

2010-08-08T20:43:00.000-05:00

No one in my current ward blogs, but it's one of those things that if someone else sees it and tells another person that it could eventually end up back where people who see me on a regular basis will hear about it.

And if that's not convoluted enough... :-)

Let's just say it's the type of secret that can't be kept very long.

There.

In other news... 46 days until my birthday!!! I'll be a quarter of a century old! I love birthdays!